1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,158 This is awkward. 2 00:00:05,240 --> 00:00:08,232 The cute, smiley, popular girl. I think she murdered me. 3 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:12,473 So, you think that if a girl likes me, there must be something wrong with her? 4 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:14,392 - That's not what we're saying. - Dad! 5 00:00:14,480 --> 00:00:15,993 She's my little... 6 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:20,792 WOMAN: Why are the coppers after you? 7 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:22,279 MAN: I didn't mean to hurt him. 8 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:24,590 I didn't mean to hurt anyone, especially not you. 9 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:25,954 What are you doing? 10 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:27,235 Bruno! 11 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:32,554 You killed him! 12 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:03,352 (SILENCE) 13 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,273 (THUNDER) 14 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:41,998 ( Of The Mountain King) 15 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,195 (DOORBELL) 16 00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:56,870 How would you describe your ability? 17 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,520 I call it lactokinesis. 18 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:02,319 What's it like being called the world's first superhero? 19 00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,789 That has to be the shittest power ever. 20 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:12,477 (it THE RAPTURE'. Echoes) 21 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:23,236 22 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,038 23 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:28,431 24 00:03:42,960 --> 00:03:46,396 This place is heaven 25 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:47,800 26 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:55,999 Hey, man. 27 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:01,119 I can't believe this guy has gone public. 28 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:04,113 You'd better believe it. Because he's going to make a fortune. 29 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:07,670 Maybe we should think about doing the same. 30 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,115 The early bird catches the massive pay cheque. 31 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:12,919 - Nice cock, man. - Fuck off. 32 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,037 I don't think going public's a good idea. 33 00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:18,636 Look, we finish our community service in two days. Count them. 34 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:21,280 I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly swamped 35 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,510 with lucrative job offers. 36 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:26,160 We need to think about cashing in on our powers. 37 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,440 I mean, I'm immortal. 38 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:40,798 I shouldn't be flipping burgers, I should be eating burgers, 39 00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:43,110 massive burgers, the size of my head. 40 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,556 Think about it, we could have really cool superhero names. 41 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:48,392 Captain Invincible. 42 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:51,279 Mr Backwards. 43 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,749 I sound retarded. 44 00:04:53,840 --> 00:04:55,319 The Invisible Cunt. 45 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,437 Why do I have to be the Invisible Cunt? 46 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,750 Because you just are, man. Get over it. 47 00:05:00,840 --> 00:05:03,798 I mean, what's the point in all of us having superpowers 48 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:06,520 if we can't use them to make obscene amounts of money 49 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:09,160 and shag loads of drunk, impressionable girls? 50 00:05:09,240 --> 00:05:12,551 It's clearly what God intended for us, and I, for one, will not let him down. 51 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:20,629 (SIREN WAILING) 52 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,510 - Simon! - What? 53 00:05:24,600 --> 00:05:27,240 What's going on with you and Jessica? 54 00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:31,393 After what happened with her dad, she says she can't see me, so... 55 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,756 Seeing a girl whose dad tried to kill you - 56 00:05:33,840 --> 00:05:36,150 it's never going to work. 57 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:38,197 You'll meet someone else. 58 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:39,236 Trust me. 59 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:50,917 (SHOUTING) 60 00:05:58,320 --> 00:05:59,833 What was that? 61 00:05:59,920 --> 00:06:01,433 They know about us. 62 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:02,999 Who? 63 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,354 Everyone. 64 00:06:04,440 --> 00:06:05,555 What are you talking about? 65 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:10,032 There are reporters and TV cameras outside, lots of them. 66 00:06:10,120 --> 00:06:11,394 - Bullshit. - No way. 67 00:06:11,480 --> 00:06:12,436 Are you serious? 68 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,155 Right. I think I might take a little peek. 69 00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:17,469 Don't open the door. 70 00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:20,552 (SHOUTING) 71 00:06:28,240 --> 00:06:30,675 That is really quite a lot of reporters. 72 00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,671 How did they find out about us? 73 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:36,949 What? No, I didn't do anything. 74 00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:40,119 I don't think I did. 75 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,875 I'm almost certain I didn't. 76 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:46,436 '(om! 77 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:52,200 You told them about us. 78 00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:55,311 Yeah. 79 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,311 You sit on your arse doing nothing for six weeks 80 00:06:57,400 --> 00:07:00,836 - and then you sell us out. - Looks like that, doesn't it? 81 00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,797 Is that ironic? 82 00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,279 Never too sure. 83 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,113 You're our probation worker. You're supposed to sort us out. 84 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:08,918 I'm sure you'll be fine. 85 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,798 Like you give a shit. 86 00:07:10,880 --> 00:07:13,998 - That's a good point. See you. - Where you going? 87 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,436 Antigua. Hm. 88 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:21,639 So, this is goodbye, so long and fuck off. 89 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:23,358 Wanker! 90 00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:30,558 I'm actually very surprised that it hasn't happened sooner. 91 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,756 We haven't really been that careful. 92 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:34,478 What are they going to do to us? 93 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,199 They'll treat us like freaks. 94 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:40,636 They'll lock us up in a secret military facility 95 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:42,074 and conduct experiments on us. 96 00:07:42,160 --> 00:07:45,312 Hey, no-one's experimenting on me. I'm not a monkey. 97 00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:47,596 What are we going to do? 98 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:49,671 We have to go into hiding. 99 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:52,718 We assume new identities. 100 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:55,918 We break off all connection with our family and friends. 101 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,514 We wear disguises and only go out after dark. 102 00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,999 I'm not loving the sound of that. 103 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,435 Do you expect me never to see my mum again? 104 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:07,594 Who's going to do my washing? Huh? You have not thought this through. 105 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,320 - (DOOR SHUTS) - There is an alternative. 106 00:08:11,480 --> 00:08:13,198 Who are you? 107 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:16,671 I'm the person who can make it so you don't need to go into hiding. 108 00:08:16,760 --> 00:08:21,709 If this is handled right, you're all making some serious money. 109 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:30,873 NATHAN: What are we thinking? 110 00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:35,960 This isn't why we got our powers. 111 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,395 No. There is no why, there's only what. 112 00:08:38,480 --> 00:08:41,233 What are we going to spend all our money on? 113 00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,277 None of us even know what we're doing after we finish. 114 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:44,395 Better than signing on. 115 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,551 What about the people we killed? 116 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:51,556 - I guess we should ask her about that. - Yeah. 117 00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:01,838 I'm not saying we have, 118 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,878 but what would happen, hypothetically speaking, 119 00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:10,512 if it came to light that we may have killed one or two people? 120 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:12,830 Probation workers and such. No-one important. 121 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:23,110 I would say that these people you may or may not have killed 122 00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:25,237 were evil. 123 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,799 You were protecting society. 124 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:32,192 You're not murderers. You're heroes. 125 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:33,714 Superheroes. 126 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,314 Rich, famous superheroes. 127 00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:39,679 And if that doesn't work, 128 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,513 we vanish the bodies and pay off the relatives. 129 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:44,796 Good answer. 130 00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,155 Sign us up. 131 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:48,639 Good. 132 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,199 We're making a mistake. 133 00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:52,351 We should all stick together. 134 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,589 Just do it with us. 135 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,552 This will change everything. 136 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:04,193 Call me when you change your mind. 137 00:10:14,600 --> 00:10:17,399 ALISHA: I don't know. Do you trust her? 138 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:20,473 They're waiting for you. 139 00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:22,437 They're calling you the ASBO Five. 140 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:24,158 I haven't even got an ASBO. 141 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:25,594 No-one cares. 142 00:10:25,680 --> 00:10:28,957 OK, any questions you don't want to answer, just let me handle it. 143 00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:32,351 Teeth - good. Hair - beautiful. 144 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:33,999 Cock - in. 145 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,195 Flies - up. 146 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,312 Let's go be famous. 147 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:52,432 ( 148 00:11:10,280 --> 00:11:12,191 Hello, ladies! 149 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:20,480 Phew! 150 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,270 Laura, hi. 151 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:31,512 Have we heard anything from the French about the cheese deal? 152 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,159 Do they know what I can do? 153 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:36,551 They know. They're calling you Mr. Big Cheese. 154 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:37,835 Mr Big Cheese. 155 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:39,035 (PHONE RINGS) 156 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:41,634 Can we do this later? I'm really busy right now. 157 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:43,199 Have you got her? 158 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:47,592 Take her straight to the hotel and don't let her talk to anyone. 159 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:50,354 How wonderful. No, we're very excited. 160 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:52,875 Very excited. 161 00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,634 NATHAN: See ya. 162 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,149 (WHISTLES) 163 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:11,080 Ah! 164 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:16,431 Jesus! 165 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:18,158 Sorry. 166 00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,595 Why are you skulking around in my bathroom? 167 00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:23,672 My parents are freaking out about the invisible thing. 168 00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:26,070 I didn't have anywhere else to go. 169 00:12:26,160 --> 00:12:28,390 Can I stay with you? 170 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,596 Yeah, sure, man. 171 00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,432 Hang back a few minutes, though. 172 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:35,558 I just want to go slip these girls one before they sober up. 173 00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:42,711 (CROWD SCREAMS) 174 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:45,710 Sorry I'm late. 175 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:49,270 I was just enjoying the fruits of our new-found fame and celebrity. 176 00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:52,273 You know I'm not actually talking about fruit. 177 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,716 Although you should see the size of my fruit bowl - massive! 178 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,757 Did you shag those skanky girls? 179 00:12:57,840 --> 00:12:59,592 I most certainly did. 180 00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:01,591 Loving the canapés. 181 00:13:01,680 --> 00:13:05,639 I was just saying, if there's something you don't want to see in the papers, 182 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:08,314 tell me now, and then I can deal with it. 183 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:11,119 Everything about me has already been in the papers. 184 00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:15,239 Do any of your ex-boyfriends have any intimate photographs or videos of you? 185 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:17,914 I'll delete them. 186 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,957 Make sure you do. 187 00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:23,431 Right. ls there anything else I need to know? 188 00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:25,431 Yes? 189 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:30,590 Just before I started my community service, 190 00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:32,478 there was an incident with this girl... 191 00:13:32,560 --> 00:13:34,471 What kind of incident? 192 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:38,633 Right... I picked her up in this dentist's waiting room. 193 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:42,509 She was having some kind of oral surgery. So we go out - a few drinks, 194 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:45,991 a couple of kebabs, then it's straight back to her place 195 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:48,674 and start with the shagging, and I've built up a nice rhythm... 196 00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:51,115 I'm getting really close to blowing my load, 197 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:53,077 just hovering in the pleasure zone... 198 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,595 And then - barn! All hell breaks lose. 199 00:13:55,680 --> 00:13:57,193 I tripled myself. 200 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,999 Sorry, I'm not familiar with that term. 201 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:03,593 You know - tripling. 202 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:07,071 It's when you come, puke and shit yourself all at the same time. 203 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:08,559 For fuck's sake! 204 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:10,756 Three bodily functions. Doing the triple. 205 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,589 You're telling me that's never happened to you? 206 00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:15,909 No! 207 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:20,914 Anyway, I lied about my name, so she probably doesn't even remember me. 208 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,877 I don't think she's ever forgetting you. 209 00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,479 Anyone else? 210 00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,198 Er... 211 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,715 I shagged a monkey. 212 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:34,791 Technically, it was a gorilla. 213 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,549 What are we doing here? 214 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:56,031 I wanted you to meet my other clients and also some potential sponsors. 215 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,270 Just relax and enjoy yourself. 216 00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:01,274 I should mingle. 217 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:05,195 Laura. 218 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,638 CURTIS: Close your mouth! 219 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,075 NATHAN: Sorry, sorry, it just went down the wrong way. 220 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:17,154 Hi. 221 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:19,834 Good to see you. 222 00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,911 Oh, you're that milk guy, innit? 223 00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:25,913 It's not just milk. It's all dairy products. 224 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,072 - You're here to make the coffees, then? - I'm done making other people coffee. 225 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:30,514 People make my coffee now. 226 00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:33,558 So, what's the point in having your power? 227 00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:35,517 Were you one of those fat kids 228 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:39,116 who had milk seeping out of his man-boobs during puberty? 229 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:40,599 No. 230 00:15:40,680 --> 00:15:44,753 We had a kid like that at our school. We used to milk him every lunch time. 231 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:46,911 I wasn't one of those kids. 232 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,479 Get off me! What are you doing? 233 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,278 - I'm milking you! - Get off! 234 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:53,273 This reminds me of school. That was some good times. 235 00:15:53,360 --> 00:15:55,078 Fuck off! 236 00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:00,551 That's what the kid at my school used to say, and he had a nervous breakdown. 237 00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:06,395 Nathan. 238 00:16:06,480 --> 00:16:09,472 How do you feel about blowing your brains out 239 00:16:09,560 --> 00:16:11,870 live on national television tomorrow night? 240 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,633 Um... 241 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:18,557 Yeah, I'm definitely up for that. 242 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,399 Another, please. 243 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,560 - Hi. - Hi. 244 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,000 Be nice to him, yeah? 245 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,434 NATHAN: ...Just me and a gun... 246 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,672 I'm not promising anything, but I'll definitely try. 247 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,798 NATHAN: Maybe a tuxedo - what do you think? 248 00:16:48,880 --> 00:16:52,077 LAURA: Why not? They're planning to film it at the community centre. 249 00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:55,551 Right. So, it's like a whole "going back to my roots" kind of vibe? 250 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:57,950 - MANY VOICES: Daisy! Daisy! - Excuse me. 251 00:17:01,760 --> 00:17:05,037 - Daisy, please! - Daisy... 252 00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:06,918 - Who's she? - That's Daisy. 253 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,753 More and more people with powers are coming forward. 254 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:10,989 What can she do? 255 00:17:11,080 --> 00:17:13,674 She can heal people - any illness, any disease. 256 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:16,070 She plans to cure the world. 257 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:20,154 She's like a pretty, modern-day Mother Teresa with a superpower. 258 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,358 She is going to make a fortune. 259 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:24,635 MAN: Daisy! Daisy! 260 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:26,074 Daisy! 261 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,436 - That's far enough... - No, no, let him through. 262 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,833 What's your name? 263 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,479 Neil. 264 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:38,995 I'm just going to touch your legs, OK? 265 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:50,433 Steady! 266 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,518 I'm walking! 267 00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:14,155 (CHUCKLES) 268 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:18,912 Thank you! 269 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:45,793 Hi, honey. 270 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:52,674 Where are you going? 271 00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,354 There's somewhere I need to be. 272 00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:57,397 I thought you liked me. 273 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:00,791 Well... 274 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,713 So now there are other people with powers, you're not interested in me? 275 00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,360 There's a guy downstairs who can rewind time. 276 00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:09,829 You can do stuff with milk. 277 00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:15,393 I'll show you what I can do. 278 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:21,194 (RETCHES) 279 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,871 What are you doing? What is that? 280 00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:29,112 That's the Greek yoghurt you ate earlier. 281 00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:31,510 It's moving up into your trachea. 282 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:45,879 You think I'm a nobody. 283 00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:54,554 You're nothing. 284 00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:24,031 Oh, Jesus, no! 285 00:20:25,560 --> 00:20:28,393 There's puss seeping out of my cock! 286 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,357 - Ugh! - One of those three girls, 287 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:33,000 or the girl I shagged in the toilets at the club, 288 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,196 one of them had poor personal hygiene. 289 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:38,079 This is a catastrophe of tsunami-like proportions. 290 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:42,279 No girl in her right mind's going to have sex with that. 291 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:45,239 You should ask that Daisy girl to cure you. 292 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,038 Right. 293 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:50,670 She wants to cure the world, she can start with my cock. 294 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:54,355 We'd just found that other boy's body stuffed in the locker, 295 00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,590 then Curtis grabbed my hand, and he's all, like, 296 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:58,557 "Oh, I wanna bone you, I wanna shag you senseless. " 297 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,472 REPORTER: This was just the beginning. 298 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,358 The five young offenders soon found 299 00:21:02,440 --> 00:21:04,351 that each of them had been affected by the storm. 300 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:08,195 Afraid they would be outcast from society, they swore a pact of secrecy... 301 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:09,873 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 302 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,392 Oh, for... 303 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,232 Hi. 304 00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:17,834 - Hi. Come in. - Right. 305 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:22,671 It's Nathan, right? 306 00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:26,196 Yeah, I just wanted to swing by, you know, say hi, 307 00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,839 as one superhero to another. 308 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,514 That's really sweet of you. 309 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,638 So, how mad is all this? 310 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:38,476 Totally mad. And look at you, with your wonderful, amazing power. 311 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,551 I saw what you did with that guy in the wheelchair. 312 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:43,678 That's like curing two normal people. Double points. 313 00:21:50,760 --> 00:21:55,038 And so... I was wondering... if you could maybe help me out 314 00:21:55,120 --> 00:21:57,475 with a small, personal affliction of my own. 315 00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,153 Of course. 316 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:00,878 What is it? 317 00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:02,394 Well... 318 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:06,872 I appear to have contracted a sexually transmitted disease of some kind. 319 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,473 I honestly don't know how I got it. 320 00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,949 I'm sorry. I don't do sexually transmitted diseases. 321 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:12,394 No? 322 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,596 Because of the rubbing. 323 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:18,036 Go to the doctors. They'll give you some antibiotics. 324 00:22:18,120 --> 00:22:19,554 How long will that take to work? 325 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:22,871 See, out there, there are a load of drunken girls just staggering around, 326 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:26,396 waiting to be shagged. Do you really want to disappoint them? 327 00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:30,155 I'm sorry. I'm just not prepared to spend my life 328 00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:31,799 rubbing other people's genitalia. 329 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,871 Oh, come on. Just give it a quick rub. 330 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:36,270 It's lovely and clean. It's pine-forest fresh. 331 00:22:36,360 --> 00:22:38,510 I'm not going to rub your cock! 332 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:40,830 Where's your humanity? 333 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:44,233 It's not going to happen. 334 00:22:44,320 --> 00:22:45,390 OK? 335 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:49,077 That's fair enough. 336 00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,279 I suppose I only have myself 337 00:22:52,360 --> 00:22:54,920 and that dirty bitch I had sex with to blame. 338 00:23:00,840 --> 00:23:02,717 What's that? 339 00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:08,478 That's my Mother Teresa Young Humanitarian of the Year Award. 340 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:11,678 It's for the charity work I did in India. 341 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:15,435 Good for you, and good for Mumma Teresa. 342 00:23:15,520 --> 00:23:17,477 God rest her beautiful soul. 343 00:23:17,560 --> 00:23:20,359 I think I'm going to win that next year myself. 344 00:23:20,440 --> 00:23:21,475 Gotcha! 345 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:22,755 Urgh! 346 00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,638 Get off! 347 00:23:24,720 --> 00:23:26,518 - Gm ' 348 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:30,591 (SCREAMS) 349 00:23:30,680 --> 00:23:32,671 Fuck, what have I done? 350 00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,634 Hey...look...just... 351 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,791 heal yourself! All right? 352 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:39,314 Heal yourself. That's it. 353 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:42,472 Rub it better, now. Rub it better. 354 00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,600 What did you do? 355 00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:49,636 It was an accident. 356 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:51,393 She was rubbing my cock. 357 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:55,360 She started foaming at the mouth and then she tripped and impaled herself 358 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,432 on her Mother Teresa Young Humanitarian of the Year Award. 359 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,790 I know it sounds unlikely... 360 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:03,917 but there it is. 361 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:11,271 The police are going to want to interview you again, 362 00:24:11,360 --> 00:24:15,399 but they seem to be satisfied that Daisy's death was an accident. 363 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:16,436 Oh! 364 00:24:16,520 --> 00:24:20,229 Oh! Thank you! 365 00:24:22,040 --> 00:24:23,678 I just want to say - 366 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:25,319 it's a tragedy. 367 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,994 And no-one is more upset about this than me. 368 00:24:29,600 --> 00:24:31,398 But what's done is done. 369 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:36,873 I think we should all move on, huh? Stronger, fitter, wiser. 370 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:40,078 - This could only happen to you. - She was going to cure the world. 371 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,549 There's only so many times I can say I'm sorry! 372 00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,359 And if you're so cut up about it, why don't you... 373 00:24:48,040 --> 00:24:51,032 ...and fix this entire situation? - You know it doesn't work like that! 374 00:24:51,120 --> 00:24:53,430 - I'm getting pretty sick of hearing that! - Prick! 375 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,916 You fuck up like this again, and I will finish you. 376 00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:01,759 I'll try not to. 377 00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:07,669 (THEY SCREAM) 378 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,516 I'll tell you something, though. 379 00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:25,159 It's all cleared up. 380 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,072 You know... Down there. 381 00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:30,152 As clean as a new pin. 382 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:31,639 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 383 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:39,515 If you're still in hiding, you should probably do your invisible thing. 384 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:45,393 Oh, hey! 385 00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:53,794 You're alone? 386 00:25:53,880 --> 00:25:55,951 Uh-huh. So, are you all right, then? 387 00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:03,397 I thought I'd feel like we'd made it. 388 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:08,395 You know, all this fame stuff. It just... 389 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,916 - feels a bit...pointless. - Of course it's pointless. 390 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,958 That's why famous people pretend to care about the Africans. 391 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:18,039 He knew it would be like this. 392 00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:19,713 Who? 393 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:21,598 Simon. 394 00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:25,150 We should've listened to him. 395 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,197 Do you know where he is? 396 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,476 No. No, I haven't seen him. 397 00:26:32,120 --> 00:26:33,918 Nuts? 398 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:38,360 He said picking up litter was the best time of his life. 399 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:43,673 I think that demonstrates his rather low expectations. 400 00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:48,671 If you see him, tell him he was right. 401 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:52,474 Cheerio. 402 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,476 What's up with you? 403 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,310 I never said that, about picking up litter. 404 00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:25,553 (LIFT PINGS) 405 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:46,951 When was that taken? 406 00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:54,598 Where did you get that? 407 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:56,956 Someone gave it to me. 408 00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:59,077 Who? 409 00:29:04,120 --> 00:29:06,111 What is this place? 410 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,999 The guy in the mask... 411 00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:10,514 he lived here. 412 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:27,111 Who is he? 413 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:32,319 It's you. 414 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:06,670 You came back so that we could be together in the future. 415 00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:13,111 You... 416 00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:14,349 and me... 417 00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:15,999 We're together? 418 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:19,960 Yeah, we were and we will be again... 419 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:23,153 I hope we will be. 420 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:30,636 You think you're surprised? Imagine being me! 421 00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:35,237 You're still you, but you're different. 422 00:30:35,320 --> 00:30:37,277 You're more confident, and... 423 00:30:38,880 --> 00:30:40,678 ...my power doesn't work on you. 424 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:43,754 You can touch me. 425 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:51,834 And then I die? 426 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:54,799 You saved my life. 427 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:58,760 You said, if you didn't come back and die, 428 00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:01,309 you wouldn't become the person you needed to be. 429 00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:05,189 It's like in Terminator, when John Connor sends Kyle Reese back in time 430 00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,271 so that he can be his father. 431 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:10,510 I have no idea what you're talking about. 432 00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:16,753 You protected us. 433 00:31:18,360 --> 00:31:21,034 You're like a proper superhero. 434 00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:28,117 When do I turn into this superhero? 435 00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,073 So, what happens now? 436 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:39,150 I have no fucking idea. 437 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:53,679 I don't understand. 438 00:31:56,720 --> 00:31:59,439 Since this whole thing with the storm went public, 439 00:31:59,520 --> 00:32:01,909 I've been taking on new clients all the time. 440 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:05,277 The truth is, I don't have time to represent you any more. 441 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:06,794 I'm sorry. 442 00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:12,359 ( 443 00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:21,398 What are you doing? 444 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:33,071 That's the cheese you had earlier, 445 00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,993 slowly clogging your arteries... 446 00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:05,358 OK, stand by for rehearsals, please. 447 00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:28,200 If blowing my brains out live on national television 448 00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:31,910 doesn't get the ladies juiced, nothing will. 449 00:33:33,400 --> 00:33:35,277 How do I look? 450 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:36,919 Like a prick in a suit. 451 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,958 That's sexual jealousy, because of my prowess as a lover. 452 00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,316 Is it true you shit yourself when you die? 453 00:33:42,400 --> 00:33:43,879 That only happened the once! 454 00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:46,873 And I've got a bucket standing by, just in case. 455 00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,110 Do you want that? Just lost my appetite... 456 00:33:49,200 --> 00:33:51,840 No, I'm lactose intolerant. 457 00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:53,513 Does that mean you're afraid of cows? 458 00:33:53,600 --> 00:33:55,989 No. It means I don't eat cheese or dairy products. 459 00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,117 Oh. I never knew that about you. 460 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:02,790 Are you all right? 461 00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:04,393 Yeah. 462 00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:06,357 We'll talk later, yeah? 463 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:08,875 Have I got time to go to the toilet before you shoot yourself? 464 00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,480 A piss - yes. A shit - probably not. 465 00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:14,869 I'll come with you. 466 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:24,114 (TOILET FLUSHES) 467 00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:32,598 (DRIPPING) 468 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:35,991 Oh, gross! 469 00:34:36,080 --> 00:34:37,479 What's that? 470 00:34:37,560 --> 00:34:40,757 There's something dripping from the ceiling. I don't know what... 471 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,274 Kelly? 472 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:49,596 Kelly? 473 00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:52,320 Quit dicking around. 474 00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,835 (BANG ON DOOR) 475 00:35:13,320 --> 00:35:15,277 Ah! Christ! 476 00:35:16,720 --> 00:35:17,676 Sorry, man! 477 00:35:17,760 --> 00:35:19,990 WOMAN: What fucking prick did that? 478 00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:24,800 This guy really is the most unbelievable tool. 479 00:35:24,880 --> 00:35:25,995 I told you. 480 00:35:26,080 --> 00:35:27,957 (BEEPING) 481 00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:30,475 MAN: Roll titles. Live in 20. 482 00:35:46,720 --> 00:35:50,236 Going live in five, four, three... 483 00:35:55,160 --> 00:35:57,310 And now, for your viewing pleasure, 484 00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:01,359 I will blow my brains out, live on national television. 485 00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:05,754 Enjoy. 486 00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:15,993 Alisha? 487 00:36:17,480 --> 00:36:18,959 Kelly? 488 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:31,513 What is that? 489 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:39,831 It's milk. 490 00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:41,991 CURTIS: That milk guy? 491 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:44,913 We need to get to the hotel. 492 00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:49,992 Oh, shit. 493 00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:51,593 No! 494 00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:27,630 And that, boys and girls, is how you shoot yourself in the head. 495 00:37:27,720 --> 00:37:29,836 I wouldn't recommend trying it at home. 496 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:30,990 (APPLAUSE) 497 00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:48,555 I'm not being funny, but you might want to fuck off out of here. 498 00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:51,632 I'm expecting some seriously horny, barely legal groupies 499 00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:53,199 knocking on that door any second. 500 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:55,157 They're walking into a trap. 501 00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:56,639 What's that? 502 00:37:56,720 --> 00:37:58,119 The milk guy. 503 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,111 He's got Alisha. 504 00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:02,635 What? When did this happen? 505 00:38:02,720 --> 00:38:04,870 He killed me, Nathan. 506 00:38:06,520 --> 00:38:07,919 I'm fucking dead. 507 00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:26,830 Curtis, wait! 508 00:38:26,920 --> 00:38:29,434 Alisha? Nikki? 509 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,111 Curtis? 510 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:51,434 You nipple-sucking, breast-feeding mumma's boy! You killed her! 511 00:38:57,000 --> 00:38:58,991 Does that feel strange? 512 00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:12,471 You can't...kill me. 513 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:16,076 I'm...immortal... 514 00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:20,838 I'm not trying to kill you. 515 00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:25,712 That's the mozzarella wrapping itself around your central cortex. 516 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:31,995 You're going to spend the rest of your life as a vegetable. 517 00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:54,630 (PHONE RINGS) 518 00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:10,396 Nathan? 519 00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,354 (PHONE STILL RINGING) 520 00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:43,471 CURTIS: Why did you do it? 521 00:42:47,520 --> 00:42:51,275 Because the only time people like me really get noticed 522 00:42:51,360 --> 00:42:53,237 is when we kill a shitload of people. 523 00:42:54,280 --> 00:42:56,920 They'll talk about this for years. 524 00:42:57,000 --> 00:42:59,196 They'll talk about me. 525 00:43:00,480 --> 00:43:04,189 Monsieur Grand Fromage! 526 00:43:04,280 --> 00:43:07,671 That cheese shit won't work on me, dickhead. 527 00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:09,717 I'm lactose intolerant. 528 00:43:09,800 --> 00:43:11,871 Then maybe I'll just have to stab you instead. 529 00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:36,792 They're all dead. 530 00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:38,871 You have to save them. 531 00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:45,753 We have to go back to before we were famous. We have to stop him. Do it! 532 00:44:04,600 --> 00:44:06,830 What are you looking at? 533 00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:08,831 Nothing. 534 00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:18,234 What? 535 00:44:20,960 --> 00:44:22,633 There's something we need to do. 536 00:44:34,880 --> 00:44:37,315 (DOORBELL) 537 00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:00,033 That's it, then. 538 00:45:00,120 --> 00:45:02,509 It's over. 539 00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:05,240 No more community service. 540 00:45:05,320 --> 00:45:07,834 I thought we'd be, like, all celebrating and shit. 541 00:45:07,920 --> 00:45:11,151 It doesn't really feel like there's much to celebrate. 542 00:45:12,760 --> 00:45:15,195 I just want you to know... 543 00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:19,239 being here with all of you, it's been the best time of my life. 544 00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:26,799 Nah, I had a week in Spain last year. That was way better. 545 00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:30,555 What is up with all of you? All the shit we've been through. 546 00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:33,075 We're all here. We're all alive. 547 00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:35,836 We made it. 548 00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:40,835 Great(!) And I have no job, no money, no girlfriend, 549 00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:46,552 nowhere to live, no useful skills or qualifications. OK, so I'm immortal, 550 00:45:46,640 --> 00:45:49,473 but other than that, I've basically got fuck-all going for me. 551 00:45:49,560 --> 00:45:53,633 What are we going to do tomorrow? Or the day after that? 552 00:45:53,720 --> 00:45:55,677 Huh? We have just been shat out 553 00:45:55,760 --> 00:46:00,072 onto a huge pool of piss with all the other long-term unemployable. 554 00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:08,679 Does anyone fancy a drink? 555 00:46:09,720 --> 00:46:11,279 Yeah, sure, man. 556 00:46:11,360 --> 00:46:14,637 You know, apart from all the killing and the dying and stuff, 557 00:46:14,720 --> 00:46:19,635 this community service really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. 558 00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:35,279 to the kids today 559 00:46:35,360 --> 00:46:38,716 what's happened to the kids today 560 00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:42,714 to the kids today 561 00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:46,793 what's happened to the kids today 562 00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,919 to the kids today 563 00:46:52,280 --> 00:46:55,079 what's happened to the kids today. 564 00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:12,270 I can give you your life back. 565 00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:15,000 There was this guy took my power. 566 00:47:15,080 --> 00:47:17,230 - You sold your powers? - Yeah, mate. 567 00:47:17,320 --> 00:47:19,118 That's how babies get turned into dwarves. 568 00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:21,191 - I like dwarves. - Me too. 569 00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:23,157 My waters have broken! The baby's coming! 570 00:47:23,240 --> 00:47:27,916 I'm Jesus Christ and I have been reborn. 571 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:31,072 - Where are you going? - I'm going to kill Jesus.